Put on your poker face

I am a battered wife.

"Does your face hurt? Cause it's killing me!"

I went sledding yesterday with Trevor and his brother and sister. It was a very popular hill, and by this point was pure ice. It had a lot of jumps at the bottom too. I hit a jump, flipped over, landed on my face, and skidded across more ice. This was taken this morning. My face hurts. My head hurts even worse. Trevor says it looks like I'm abused. Trevor's all sensitive brother, after seeing the blood dripping out of my nose, comforted me by saying, "Wow. You suck at sledding." Thanks, Tyler.

Allie Rae

She's developing nicely. Lately, she has discovered her hands and has loooooooong conversations with them. She's the most talkative baby I have ever seen. I just know we're in trouble when it comes to the phone bill. She is also into mimicking. When I'm on the phone, she copies my voice influctuations. She also LOVES to sing along when daddy or mommy are playing an instrument. She also wakes up so happy in the mornings. She's so smiley and talkative.

An excerpt from an email

This is an excerpt from an email I received.

I read your birth story and my son is 7 months now. I had an epidural (which didn't work) but it made Kevin so drowsy, he wouldn't nurse when he was born. He also didn't cry so he was taken from me, I didn't get to hold him for 2 hours. He's fine now just slept a lot the first 24 hours but never did learn to nurse. My best friend also had her baby 4 months later and had the epidural. Her son never learned to nurse either because he was so drowsy. I'm glad you said you didn't need an epidural, the pain doesn't last long and is over once the baby's born. I think it is just nerves mostly, I was pretty nervous. Anyways just wanted to tell you that I'm very happy for you both.

"Oh no! I'm becoming one of those people!"

Taken at 2 am. Can you tell?






Miranda:"Why are you in the tub?"Trevor:"Because I didn't feel like standing."
M:"Ok. But why did you put your swimming trunks on?"
T:"Because I knew mommy would come home and take pictures."

Some pictures from my phone

Since my camera is still missing in action, we'll have to make due with my phone pics.

This one is my background on my phone.

She always scowls. It's the funniest thing.

Rub a dub dub getting ready for the tub.

Birth Story

It was a normal Monday night. I had given up trying to start labor. She'll come when she's ready. Trevor and I had FHE about getting our finances in order and starting a new budget. We planned on going swimming for our activity (the gym is basically across the street from us). Then Trevor remembered that he had forgotten to do something very important at work. So he had to go back at about 8:30 pm. I cleaned up dinner. My living room looked like a tornado had hit it. My nephews had been over earlier that day, and they like to teach me just how not childproof my place is. I thought about leaving it til the morning. I was really tired, but I thought I should keep the place clean, because you never know when you'll go into labor. I thought that was a silly thought, but I cleaned it all up anyway. Thank goodness. I started getting ready for bed. I tried waiting up for Trevor, but I was too tired. When suddenly, at 9:25 pm I had the worst pain in my abdomen. It was hard and it was long. It didn't feel like the braxton-hicks I'd been having days before. It hurt. It hurt a lot. But then it was over...for about 4 minutes. And it happened again. Was this labor? I started freaking out. I tried to call my mom but couldn't get a hold of her. I tried calling Leah, but she didn't answer either. How do I know if this is labor? After about the 5th contraction, I decided it was labor. There was no doubt. I got in a bath. I heard that helped. And it did feel a bit better. I called Trevor and told him he needed to get home. He had stopped for a haircut and said he couldn't right now. His hair was only half done. I called him every few minutes telling him I needed him home right now. Then I called my friends (by this time it was about 10 PM) who were going to take over my paper route for a few weeks to tell them that they'll be starting in the morning. They asked if Trevor was home. I told them no, but he's on his way. They asked if my midwife was there. My midwife? It hadn't occurred to me to call my midwife yet. They didn't want me alone, so they insisted on coming over. I tried arguing. I told them I didn't want them to come because I was naked in the tub. But they came anyway. I called Trevor back and asked him if I should call the midwife. Of course I should. Then I called Richelle, my midwife, at 10:07 pm and told her my labor had started, but I didn't feel like she needed to come yet. I had a contraction while she was on the phone and she timed it. Then she said she's coming just to be safe. She knew of my family history of quick labors. My friends Beta and Cami arrived and got me drinks and stuff while I screamed and moaned in the tub. Trevor arrived shortly after that. I had to go to the bathroom, so he helped me to the toilet. I went, and then suddenly felt ill and that I urgently had to get back to the tub. I jumped up off the toilet, and knelt with my hands in the tub and my water broke all over the floor. I got back in the tub while Trevor cleaned that up. Then my body started pushing. I freaked out. It wasn't supposed to happen that fast. I can't be pushing already! I got really scared. I asked Trevor what's going on, but he didn't know. I asked him where Richelle was. He didn't know. I screamed at him that she needed to be here talking me throught it and he needed to get her here NOW! He went into the other room to call her and see where she was. Then he and my two friends layed out all the plastic all over the living room and down the hall. Shortly after, Richelle was there. The second she stepped foot in the bathroom she knew I was pushing by the sounds I was making. They helped me into the living room. I knelt by our futon and leaned onto it. I labored there most of the time. They gave me pillows to lay my head on between contractions. I squoze those during. I was getting really tired. It didn't seem like long before Allie started crowning. Trevor could see her head and feel it. He told me she had a lot of hair. At that point I felt like giving up. I just couldn't do it anymore, but the look of pure excitement on Trevor's face gave me newfound energy. He made me want to keep trying. My legs grew very tired. As did my arms. I didn't feel like I could hold myself up anymore, but at the same time, I didn't feel like moving. But I couldn't kneel any longer. They helped me lay on my side on the futon. The futon was a fantastic choice for having a baby on because it was bars to hold onto, which I did. Trevor held my leg up. I could feel Allie so close to being out, but I wasn't sure if I could get her out. I told myself "Ok. I will push 5 more times, and if she doesn't come out, I will give up and we'll try again another day." On the 4th contraction, I pushed my hardest. It helped, but still nothing. On the 5th contraction, she came out and before I knew it, there was a beautiful baby girl on my chest. And suddenly, I didn't feel anymore pain. I got to hold her there for as long as I wanted. I birthed the placenta (which was a lot easier than I thought it would be) and then they took her to clean her off. Then I fed her for the first time. Katie and Cami left, and Richelle weighed and measured her. Trevor dressed her in her first outfit. And I got to cuddle her again. Richelle told me that I tore and would need about 10 stitches. She told me I probably would've had a shorter labor but Allie got stuck in the birth canal because she insisted on keeping her fist by her face and that's what made me tear. Richelle helped me go to the bathroom while Trevor made the bed (our bedding was in the dryer) and laid out plastic. I blacked out for a second. Richelle told me I had lost a lot of blood. Then I laid on the bed with Allie and Trevor while Richelle and her assistant stitched me up. That was worse than labor itself. But Trevor held my hand and distracted me with funny memories we've shared. Then Richelle and her assistant left us to sleep (at this point it was about 3:30 am) We layed there for quite a while just staring at Allie. It was beautiful.Our activity for FHE ended up being adding a new member to the family.

I'm so glad I did it at home. It was a very wonderful experience. I got to be where I wanted when I wanted. I got to be in the position I wanted. I honestly couldn't imagine lying on my back or in the position you typically see in hospitals/movies. That was the very last position I wanted to be in. I tried it during one contraction in the bathtub, but quickly got back on my knees. Kneeling felt great. And I think gravity really helped.
Also, Trevor got to be very involved. He's the one that got to catch Allie and lay her on my chest. He got to help with the weighing and measuring and pretty much everything. He was totally involved. It was our experience, not just mine.
I've thought a lot about epidurals since then. It never ever crossed my mind during labor to want one or wish for one. And looking back on it, I still never saw a need for one. I don't think epidurals are for the pain, really. Don't get me wrong, labor really hurts. It was hard hard work, and it did hurt a lot, but it's not the worst pain ever. People have endured worse. I think epidurals are for the fear. For the nerves. I think a major part of labor is the emotional battle inside. I was terrified for a lot of the labor, but I had to just keep whispering (sometimes screaming) "I can do this. I can do this." I think some people just get scared and want to escape it, so an epidural kind of helps that. I did want to escape, but I knew the only way of doing that was just getting her out. Also, what about the promise that God would never give you anything you can't handle? You can do it without an epidural. Really.
It was also so very nice to sleep in my own bed in the comfort of my own home with my husband right next to me. It was nice to be naked all during the birth. I tried to keep my bathrobe on, but at one point, I couldn't stand anything on me. It was so very nice to be the one in control. I got to eat and drink when I wanted, and everyone was concerned about what I wanted and needed. Not what the doctor wanted. It was nice to lay in my own bed for the next couple of days and have guests visit me and be comfortable. It was nice not to have to bring my baby home from the hospital, she was already home. The whole atmosphere was just nice. It was comfortable. It was everything I wanted. The experience was so totally amazing to know my body can do that. I felt so empowered. So fulfilled.

I definitely recommend home birth, but I don't blame anyone for wanting to be in a hospital. If that makes you feel safe and settles your mind, then do it. But don't rule out home birth. I am a strong advocate against epidurals, though. Hospital or home, epidurals aren't needed. And they're still such a new thing that we don't really know the long term affects on mother or baby. Isn't that a little scary?

Announcing......

Allie Rae Williams born November 3rd at 11:23 pm at 6 lbs 5 oz and 19 3/4" long. I went into labor at 9:25 pm and had her in less than two hours. It was a beautiful home birth. Trevor got to catch her. I had a great picture of my face as I saw her for the first time, but we've lost our camera. These are pictures we've gotten from my mom's camera. If I find ours, I'll post some of those pics because we had some way way cute ones.


This is my absolute favorite thing that she does. Whenever Trevor puts her on his chest to burp her or just to hold her, she will wake up and crane her little head back and stare at him as soon as she hears his
voice. She loves to study his face. She's such a daddy's girl. I love the little bond they have between them. It's so sweet.

Also, if you've noticed, the spelling has changed from Ali to Allie. Not my fault or choice really. My wonderful husband decided to change it while he filled out the birth certificate. I was being distracted by my check up with my midwife.

Nothing yet

No baby yet. Just taking it easy. Went Jogging, nothing happened. But bending over and over again to do laundry really helps! My due date is still a little ways off, but I'm getting impatient!

Greetings from the Potato State

We're at my in-laws for the weekend. A well needed rest. With my internship, I never had a weekend off. It's nice to have weekends again. It's nice to have a life again. I graduated! I'll have pictures of that too. And of this weekend. We've got some funny ones. I just want everyone to drive safe. We witnessed a very bad accident (that we narrowly missed) which involved a moose (yeah, a moose) and a small car. Two college girls hit it, and the passenger died instantly. Trevor and I have never been there where someone died. I didn't get out of the car (I just can't handle stuff like that, and there were enough cars pulled over that they didn't need my help) but Trevor did. He checked her pulse and knew she was gone. Then he kept the driver alert and asked her lots of questions and kept blankets around her. We were in the middle of nowhere (Idaho, remember?) so it took sometime for an ambulance or anything to come. Very scary when minutes could mean everything. Trev said the driver seemed okay and not majorly hurt, but you never know if someone is internally bleeding or something. Luckily, the moose died on impact. But we're both pretty stunned. It's amazing how much life can change just like that. So, if you're a praying person, keep the girls and their families in there. It was just so sad with them being so young -our age- and we were very fortunate to see the moose in time to stop.


Also, we don't have the internet, so posts will once again be few and far between. But on the positive side, my midwife says I've dropped. She moved up the appointment to set up for the birth because she worried we don't have as much time as she thought. I'm full term in two days, so really, it's any day now. Just a matter of time.

Final week. Finals week.

This is my last week of school, and only one more week of clinic! Woohoo! 6 more weeks of pregnancy.

New Dress

In honor of my upcoming Graduation, I bought a new dress today. I'm so excited. I don't remember the last time I bought myself new clothes. I bought it online, and I wanted to share with you a little website I discovered. www.retailmenot.com has promo codes for pretty much any store you could possibly want. I got a discount on an already on sale dress. So for those of you who shop online often, try it out. Nothing wrong with saving some $$$

Countdown

2 more weeks of school, 2 more weeks of clinic, 7 more weeks of pregnancy!

I can't believe I'm so close to being done with school. This is my last week with real classes and next week is just finals. Woo!

Would you like to know what I realized today? Today I realized that in 3 weeks I will be full term and safe to have Ali any day after that. I can't believe it.

Countdown

3 more weeks of clinic, 3 more weeks of school, 8 more weeks of pregnancy.