21 weeks

21 weeks on Monday! Half way there! Also, I go a new hair cut! You can see it in this pic too.

To all mommies or preggos

Is it normal to feel really nauseous when the baby is really really really wiggly? Is it because she's kicking my stomach or something?

Recently I have slowly realized I'm not as well liked as I always thought I was.

And no, it has nothing to do with any comments on the previous post.

10 Reasons why I fired my OB-GYN and hired a home birth midwife

(in no particular order)

1. I hate him. He's rude and inconsiderate. I feel like the birth is all about him. His standards, his way, his comfort. I feel it should be about me and Trevor. Twice we've sat in the waiting room for 2 hours before they told me "Oh, he's at a scheduled c-section." If it's scheduled, why did they schedule me at the same time? I don't have time to waste like that.

2. He's expensive. Even with insurance, he's WAY WAY more pricey than my midwife.

3. I've hardly even met him. How am I supposed to trust him and be comfortable with him in labor if I've only met his nurses?

4. I don't like being pushed through the system. And that's the way it feels at his office. This isn't a system. This is my body. My family. My life changing. It doesn't feel systematic to me.

5. After doing much research (I will post sites/movies/books later) I found that in all actuality, home birth is by far safer than a hospital birth.

6. Hospitals scare me.

7. Hospitals pressure women into unnecessary procedures. It's just a cycle. First, they lay you down in a very unnatural position for child birth. So your body has a hard time having the baby naturally. Then, because of your position, you're in pain. Epidural. But because of the epidural, your body can't function normally. Pitosin. Do you know how bad pitosin is for your baby? Pitosin mimics a natural hormone called Oxytosin. However, pitosin makes the contractions harder and last longer. Because those contractions are lasting too long, it's cutting off air and blood to your baby, therefore putting your child in danger. And because Pitosin amplifies your contractions, many women opt for another epidural. But now the epidural slows down the process. So you need more pitosin. But now you're not progressing. C-section.

8. Hospitals are for sick, diseased people. If I'm going through a natural, healthy, physiological process, I don't need healing and medicine. My body knows what to do. It'll do it's thing. Plus, I am going into the medical field, and if you only knew all the diseases the infants have gotten in hospitals after birth, you'd steer clear too. I can't tell you how much my pathology classes scare me!

9. Many people think birth at home is dirty. Maybe for some it is. But my home is pretty clean. And besides, anything exhisting in here, I'm breathing in every day. It's getting to my fetus, and she is already developing and immunity to it. So she's prepared for home. You'd take your 48 hour old baby home, but why not your 1 minute old baby? I don't have the kind of superbugs here that hospitals do. Again, hospitals are for sick, diseased people.

10. After touring hospital birthing units, I didn't like the feeling there. Once again it was all about their system. What about my individual needs? I really really didn't like the birthing rooms. Many hospitals require a 72 hour stay. That really isn't necessary. Besides, why would I want to sleep on a twin bed with my husband in an uncomfortable chair (because heaven knows he won't be leaving my side) and my baby on a shelf across the room. I have a much sweeter image in my head of Trevor, Ali, and me just lying in my own familiar bed. Together. A family. Privacy. Beautiful.

11. Trevor and I fell in love with the midwife we have chosen to hire. She's kind. She's natural. She's loving. She doesn't have an oversized ego. And she makes it all about us. What we want. Our needs. She makes this journey fun and exciting. She takes time to calm my nerves and give me advice. I have her cell phone. I can call with anything; no matter how stupid. I didn't have my OB's cell phone. I had to call the office. She wants our birth to be what we want. I can be in the position I want, and she'll just deal with it. And, if Trevor wants to catch the baby, he can. She's just there to help and gently guide. The rest is up to us. No pressure. No system. No epidural. No pitosin. No C-section. All natural.

12. Our midwife is very knowledgable. She knows what she's doing. Midwifes go through almost as much school as doctors (just one year less) and know just as much about what to do (say for hemmoraging) as doctors. Did you know most doctors have never even seen a natural birth? They have no idea what it could be like. They only know what they're trained in.

13. Our midwife puts God back into the equation. Which, I felt, the doctors took away. She believes very much (as do I) that this is a spiritual, and emotional journey for me and my husband together. This, to me, is a right of passage. The ultimate thing a woman can do. I want to experience it in all of its power. She thinks it is very empowering, and very important for a woman to experience. Hospitals take away a lot of the beauty that birth is supposed to be, and many women don't even realize what they've missed out on. It saddens me.

14. The sphincter law. Did you know your labor can actually reverse or delay? Your sphincter (in this case, the cervix) is very much controlled by your mind. Can you pee if someone (besides your spouse, maybe) is watching? What about a room full of people? I know when I have to pee into a cup for certain tests, I have such a hard time going. I just can't make myself pee. Its part of your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight). If something "endangering" or someone you're not familiar or you're uncomfortable with enters the room, it can actually close or freeze your cervix. Now you don't really realize this is happening, but it is. Now what is happening in hospitals? Nurses are in and out all the time. Maybe one stays with you, but do you know her/him very well? And the doctor only comes when he has to. I meet with my midwife and the people who accompany her at births every appointment. I'm very familiar and comfortable with them. There will be no one unfamiliar rushing in and out of my house. It will totally be a familiar, safe, comfortable environment. Only the people I want there will be there. Thus, enabling my sphincters to do their thing by natural law.

15. I am a woman. My body was built for this. My body knows what to do. I trust my body. I trust my midwife. I trust my husband. I trust God. The feeling I get is that hospitals scare women into thinking they can't do it. Other women scare women into thinking birth is horrible. I refuse to hear it. I refuse to believe it. After reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin, I have found solace to my fears. She believes very much in mind over matter. She teaches of the sphincter law. She doesn't believe contractions hurt. In fact, she doesn't even believe in calling them contractions. She calls them "rushes" as in rushes of energy. She teaches how to ride the waves of rushes. How to welcome them. How to go with them. They are good. As long as you believe that and let go of fear, your labor goes a lot more smoothly. Ina May is a very renowned midwife. I suggest reading up on her and even reading her guide to childbirth. It's a beautiful book. She also teaches you how to release natural hormones naturally. Such as kissing your husband, or certain stimulations release oxytocin naturally. Which sounds much more pleasant to me than injecting me with pitosin. I totally plan on making out with Trevor during labor!

16. As you just read, Trevor gets to be more involved in the labor at home than at a hospital. What does he do at a hospital? Hold my hand? Brush my hair off my forehead? At home, we get to kiss, and he gets to be very involved, including catching our daughter. Why wouldn't I want my daughter to first be in the hands of her loving daddy instead of an egotistical stranger?

17. My mom had 4 very healthy babies (myself included) at home. My sister had 2 very healthy babies (including a 9 1/2 pounder) at home. I have seen that it is safe.

18. When you're trained to see pathologies, you see pathologies. Often times where no real pathology exists. When you make decisions out of fear (of being sued for example) because you might see a pathology, it leads to bad or unnecessary decisions.

19. I can wear (or not wear) whatever makes me comfortable. I can walk around, sit, read, jog, eat, drink, nap, bathe, fold laundry, or whatever else I feel like at home. Though I really don't think some of those things'll come to mind while in labor. It really bugs me that hospitals don't let you eat or drink during labor (in case you need a C-section, your stomach needs to be empty). Your body is doing a lot. It can't be good not to drink water, or juice to help your blood sugar.


Ok, so obviously, I could go on and on. If you need more reasons, or are interested in educating yourself more on this topic, email me.

More food!

On Sunday, it got so hot in our little apartment cooking dinner that Trevor decided we should eat outside. Our back yard has a picnic table, so I was cool with that. Did we use the picnic table in the back? No. Instead, Trevor and Greg took our kitchen table and chairs outside in the front yard. It was great! Especially when our neighbors would come out and we'd get to talk to them. That's why I love Trevor. He's so unconventional. He's perfect for me!

Pancakes

This morning I made the fluffiest pancakes ever! I love how easy they are to make! They're very simple. I love to add extras too. Today I added bananas and chocolate chips, topped with strawberry jam. Next time, I'm thinking stawberry banana pancakes. Oooh! Or raspberry banana.

Nash

I think my nephew is the cutest thing ever!


**Hint** click on the word nephew

My daughter

I know it's not the greatest picture of her. We don't have a scanner, so I took a picture with my camera. It didn't work too well, so we'll try something to show you the other ultrasounds.

On Saturday, I felt Ali for the first time. And since then, she's been going crazy. I can feel her right now. Last night in class, she was wiggling, and then there was about a 10 min break where she got up all the energy she could muster. Out of nowhere I recieved a round house kick to the bladder. It was the strongest kick I've felt her do. It surprised me and I jumped in the middle of the lecture. My bff asked if I was ok, but I was just so startled! She's increasing in strength daily, as I increase in visits to the bathroom.

Your Creator

This morning, Trevor and I woke up earlier than we needed to get up, so we got to just lie in bed and talk. That's probably my favorite time with him of all. He began rubbing my belly and talking to Ali as he usually does. Then he got this really deep voice and said "Ali, this is your creator. You will obey all my commands" Trevor is my favorite.