Wednesday, June 03, 2009


This book is one of the best books I have ever read. Honestly. It has changed my marital life more than anything, and all for the better.
About 6 months into my marriage, I realized it was not what I thought it would be. And so did he. It just wasn't the kind of marriage I (or he) wanted. We were miserable, but we didn't know why. He was explosively angry. I was a nag. Big time. I just didn't know how to get things done other than nag and nag, because otherwise he didn't respond. Things were bleak, and I felt trapped. As did he. We decided to get out, after months of trying and things just getting worse. I was falling apart. My boss at the time brought in The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands and told me it changed her marriage. I read it all in one sitting one sunday afternoon and cried my heart out. I started trying what this book told me to do. Trevor found an apartment and was moving out the next week. I had no idea what I was going to do. Within 4 days everything changed. Trevor cancelled the hold on that apartment. We felt happy again. This was finally what a marriage was supposed to be like! I'm not saying everything was perfect in 4 days. Old habits die hard. Many things had to be worked out and forgiven on both ends, but things did change and a huge burden was lifted off of us. Trevor's anger was gone because my nagging had ceased. I believe every woman, especially a married woman, needs to read this book! The funny thing is, I'm very much not a fan of Dr. Laura's, but I owe to her the success of my marriage, much of my individual happiness, and the fact that we went on to have the most gorgeous of baby girls. If you feel trapped, in a rut, or even perfectly happy, you have to read this book! What can it hurt?

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

not my slice of steak

Texas, it is decidedly certain, is not where we want to be. Good thing it's just the summer, right? People always comment how it's friendly here, but I think that's a lie. Ok well a partial lie. They appear friendly. Everybody is chatty in public, but it's not authentic. And that annoys me. Also, when I'm in a hurry and my baby is fussing and has a full diaper and everybody wants to stop and chat and touch her face, it's annoying. I really like just going about my business and being left alone, for the most part.

Also church is different. The bishop isn't our cup of tea, I mean, slice of steak either. We have a hard time with his personality. He also went out of his way to make sure anyone having to do with APX felt unwelcome. We learned later he works for a rival company. The second week we were here, church was cancelled because of the swine flu. Different. This week, the last meeting was cancelled and instead we met in the chapel again and went over disaster plans. Yesterday marked the first day of Hurricane Season. Last year Hurricane Dolly swept over this area and left her mark. Different. And scary. Of course, both of these church interruptions were needed, but just different. Also, in the mother's lounge there was a HUGE red cockroach! Yuck! The one found in my kitchen was maybe 1/3 it's size. And yes, there was a cockroach in my kitchen. I keep my kitchen spotless (and the little jerk was in a non-food cupboard anyway), but as my dad so kindly pointed out, in apartment living, if your neighbor has cockroaches, so do you. I just do my best to make sure they know my kitchen is not the place to be.

Mostly I miss family and the children. The nieces and nephews. Especially, Halen, who I haven't met yet, but can't wait to hold and kiss. Poor thing. He's been a month on this earth and still hasn't met his favorite auntie. Sad.

On a bright note, I found the library. I've already read a book and am reading two more at the moment. The library isn't quite as big as the Orem one, but it'll do for a summer. I read "The Stoning of Soraya M." It's a true story about a woman in Iran who is falsely accused of adultery and stoned to death by her village just so her husband can be rid of her without having to pay back her dowry. And this happened in my lifetime. A tear jerker too. I almost read the entire book in the same day, but didn't finish the last half of the last chapter because I couldn't see through my tears. Now I'm reading "Geeks" by Jon Katz about some Idaho boys who ride the internet to Chicago, and "Woman Power" by Dr. Laura. It's the sister book to "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I would love to write a lot more about that, but Allie desperately needs a nap, or something, I don't know because she's teething and I can't do anything right to please her. So much for the bright note.