Birth Story

It was a normal Monday night. I had given up trying to start labor. She'll come when she's ready. Trevor and I had FHE about getting our finances in order and starting a new budget. We planned on going swimming for our activity (the gym is basically across the street from us). Then Trevor remembered that he had forgotten to do something very important at work. So he had to go back at about 8:30 pm. I cleaned up dinner. My living room looked like a tornado had hit it. My nephews had been over earlier that day, and they like to teach me just how not childproof my place is. I thought about leaving it til the morning. I was really tired, but I thought I should keep the place clean, because you never know when you'll go into labor. I thought that was a silly thought, but I cleaned it all up anyway. Thank goodness. I started getting ready for bed. I tried waiting up for Trevor, but I was too tired. When suddenly, at 9:25 pm I had the worst pain in my abdomen. It was hard and it was long. It didn't feel like the braxton-hicks I'd been having days before. It hurt. It hurt a lot. But then it was over...for about 4 minutes. And it happened again. Was this labor? I started freaking out. I tried to call my mom but couldn't get a hold of her. I tried calling Leah, but she didn't answer either. How do I know if this is labor? After about the 5th contraction, I decided it was labor. There was no doubt. I got in a bath. I heard that helped. And it did feel a bit better. I called Trevor and told him he needed to get home. He had stopped for a haircut and said he couldn't right now. His hair was only half done. I called him every few minutes telling him I needed him home right now. Then I called my friends (by this time it was about 10 PM) who were going to take over my paper route for a few weeks to tell them that they'll be starting in the morning. They asked if Trevor was home. I told them no, but he's on his way. They asked if my midwife was there. My midwife? It hadn't occurred to me to call my midwife yet. They didn't want me alone, so they insisted on coming over. I tried arguing. I told them I didn't want them to come because I was naked in the tub. But they came anyway. I called Trevor back and asked him if I should call the midwife. Of course I should. Then I called Richelle, my midwife, at 10:07 pm and told her my labor had started, but I didn't feel like she needed to come yet. I had a contraction while she was on the phone and she timed it. Then she said she's coming just to be safe. She knew of my family history of quick labors. My friends Beta and Cami arrived and got me drinks and stuff while I screamed and moaned in the tub. Trevor arrived shortly after that. I had to go to the bathroom, so he helped me to the toilet. I went, and then suddenly felt ill and that I urgently had to get back to the tub. I jumped up off the toilet, and knelt with my hands in the tub and my water broke all over the floor. I got back in the tub while Trevor cleaned that up. Then my body started pushing. I freaked out. It wasn't supposed to happen that fast. I can't be pushing already! I got really scared. I asked Trevor what's going on, but he didn't know. I asked him where Richelle was. He didn't know. I screamed at him that she needed to be here talking me throught it and he needed to get her here NOW! He went into the other room to call her and see where she was. Then he and my two friends layed out all the plastic all over the living room and down the hall. Shortly after, Richelle was there. The second she stepped foot in the bathroom she knew I was pushing by the sounds I was making. They helped me into the living room. I knelt by our futon and leaned onto it. I labored there most of the time. They gave me pillows to lay my head on between contractions. I squoze those during. I was getting really tired. It didn't seem like long before Allie started crowning. Trevor could see her head and feel it. He told me she had a lot of hair. At that point I felt like giving up. I just couldn't do it anymore, but the look of pure excitement on Trevor's face gave me newfound energy. He made me want to keep trying. My legs grew very tired. As did my arms. I didn't feel like I could hold myself up anymore, but at the same time, I didn't feel like moving. But I couldn't kneel any longer. They helped me lay on my side on the futon. The futon was a fantastic choice for having a baby on because it was bars to hold onto, which I did. Trevor held my leg up. I could feel Allie so close to being out, but I wasn't sure if I could get her out. I told myself "Ok. I will push 5 more times, and if she doesn't come out, I will give up and we'll try again another day." On the 4th contraction, I pushed my hardest. It helped, but still nothing. On the 5th contraction, she came out and before I knew it, there was a beautiful baby girl on my chest. And suddenly, I didn't feel anymore pain. I got to hold her there for as long as I wanted. I birthed the placenta (which was a lot easier than I thought it would be) and then they took her to clean her off. Then I fed her for the first time. Katie and Cami left, and Richelle weighed and measured her. Trevor dressed her in her first outfit. And I got to cuddle her again. Richelle told me that I tore and would need about 10 stitches. She told me I probably would've had a shorter labor but Allie got stuck in the birth canal because she insisted on keeping her fist by her face and that's what made me tear. Richelle helped me go to the bathroom while Trevor made the bed (our bedding was in the dryer) and laid out plastic. I blacked out for a second. Richelle told me I had lost a lot of blood. Then I laid on the bed with Allie and Trevor while Richelle and her assistant stitched me up. That was worse than labor itself. But Trevor held my hand and distracted me with funny memories we've shared. Then Richelle and her assistant left us to sleep (at this point it was about 3:30 am) We layed there for quite a while just staring at Allie. It was beautiful.Our activity for FHE ended up being adding a new member to the family.

I'm so glad I did it at home. It was a very wonderful experience. I got to be where I wanted when I wanted. I got to be in the position I wanted. I honestly couldn't imagine lying on my back or in the position you typically see in hospitals/movies. That was the very last position I wanted to be in. I tried it during one contraction in the bathtub, but quickly got back on my knees. Kneeling felt great. And I think gravity really helped.
Also, Trevor got to be very involved. He's the one that got to catch Allie and lay her on my chest. He got to help with the weighing and measuring and pretty much everything. He was totally involved. It was our experience, not just mine.
I've thought a lot about epidurals since then. It never ever crossed my mind during labor to want one or wish for one. And looking back on it, I still never saw a need for one. I don't think epidurals are for the pain, really. Don't get me wrong, labor really hurts. It was hard hard work, and it did hurt a lot, but it's not the worst pain ever. People have endured worse. I think epidurals are for the fear. For the nerves. I think a major part of labor is the emotional battle inside. I was terrified for a lot of the labor, but I had to just keep whispering (sometimes screaming) "I can do this. I can do this." I think some people just get scared and want to escape it, so an epidural kind of helps that. I did want to escape, but I knew the only way of doing that was just getting her out. Also, what about the promise that God would never give you anything you can't handle? You can do it without an epidural. Really.
It was also so very nice to sleep in my own bed in the comfort of my own home with my husband right next to me. It was nice to be naked all during the birth. I tried to keep my bathrobe on, but at one point, I couldn't stand anything on me. It was so very nice to be the one in control. I got to eat and drink when I wanted, and everyone was concerned about what I wanted and needed. Not what the doctor wanted. It was nice to lay in my own bed for the next couple of days and have guests visit me and be comfortable. It was nice not to have to bring my baby home from the hospital, she was already home. The whole atmosphere was just nice. It was comfortable. It was everything I wanted. The experience was so totally amazing to know my body can do that. I felt so empowered. So fulfilled.

I definitely recommend home birth, but I don't blame anyone for wanting to be in a hospital. If that makes you feel safe and settles your mind, then do it. But don't rule out home birth. I am a strong advocate against epidurals, though. Hospital or home, epidurals aren't needed. And they're still such a new thing that we don't really know the long term affects on mother or baby. Isn't that a little scary?